Life and loving

A peep into our lives at the moment..

Mila:

Talking, talking, talking. We are both loving that we can communicate a whole lot better. It means less tantrums and less guessing on my part. She also has a really good sense of humour! We were at a music class the other day and I was watching her standing behind this little boy giggling. She came running up to me bursting into laughter and said "the boy is doing pop-pops mama!" (her word for passing wind!).

Mila flying high on her 2nd Birthday

Favourite foods:  eggs, green smoothies, apples, "orgys" (oranges), toast, lamb, yogurt and bananas. I'm also giving her fish oils by Nordic Naturals, a homoeopathic remedy for a tummy upset she had and a little spirilina in her smoothies for added nutrients. I also put a pro biotic powder with her almond milk that she has at night to help with her digestion and immunity. 

Sleep: In bed by 7 - 8pm. Waking around 3am, needing a nappy change and then goes and snuggles and sleeps the rest of the night with her dad. Up between 5 and 6am.  

Toilet/nappies: Can use potty and toilet but not grasping concept of pulling down undies yet. Going to spend a solid week of proper toilet training when it warms up a bit more. Shes so ready for it as finding nappies uncomfortable.

Faves: Her pony's, playdough, pretend food and playing kitchen and cooking games, drawing circles, dancing, singing happy birthday and terrorising her little brother by trying to ride him like a pony.

Louie:

Being as cute as 4 month olds can get! Rolling over, squealing and giggling, grasping at everything and then chewing on everything he grasps. Now has two bottom teeth and one top tooth about to pop through. Still managing lots of smiles despite all of his teething discomfort. 

Lou and I

Sleep: Down at 7pm and then up for a feed every 2-3 hours. We co-sleep so its just feed and snuggle back down for sleep. I am loving our nighttime relationship. I get so much more rest sleeping with him and he gets all the benefits of night nursing and having me there as comfort. So if you were wondering.... Louie and I share a bed and my partner is currently sleeping in the spare room. This is because he needs to try and get a full nights sleep for work and we just all get more sleep this way. Not for everyone but really works for us. 

Nappies: Currently transitioning into reusable nappies and loving them! Looking forward to using them full time and saving a whole lot of money. Oh and helping the environment of course.

Faves: Breastmilk, snuggles, watching himself in the mirror and chewing on his hand like a rabid chipmunk.

Me (Mama)

Diet: Starting my mornings with warm water, lemon, a teaspoon of sole (pronounced sol-lay, its a special salted water to help with electrolyte balance) and coconut oil. So refreshing and my skin is loving it! Really up-ing my protein at the moment by eating a lot more eggs, red meat and fish. I am also trying to have a green smoothie everyday. This is my (and Milas!) favourite combo at the moment:

Banana
Coconut water
frozen berries
yogurt
honey
Micro Organics Spirilina
LSA
Spinach

George and I are both watching our sugar intake but we love a sweet treat after dinner sometimes so have been whipping up this delectable and healthy chocolate mousse:

1 banana
1 Avocado
2 tbspn raw cacao powder
1/4 cup coconut milk (more if you want a creamier texture and taste)
1 tbspn honey (or to taste)
1 tbspn male syrup
splash of vanilla extract or essence

Blend, serve with seasonal fruit and eat! So yum!

Exercise: Doing a big walk around the peninsula I live on 2-3 times a week with kids in the pram. Back to doing a daily yoga practice which is having huge benefits on my energy and overall emotional and physical wellbeing.  Also doing a bit of paddle boarding on the weekends which I hope to do a lot more of come summertime.

Yoga inspiration - Rachel Brathen

Reading: Feeding little tummies by Nicola Galloway and Buddhism for Mothers by Sarah Napthali. Cannot recommend both of these enough.

Faves: My friend just lent me her 'Breast-friend' breastfeeding pillow and it rocks! So supportive for me and bubs. My back and neck are loving me for it. I wish I'd had this from the beginning and really recommend it for new breast-feeding mums.

Also really digging a big plastic change mat I was given that sings. Especially good for squirmy toddlers that squirm and wriggle at every nappy change and need distraction. Their little bootys can roll over a farm animal picture such as a cow on the mat and it will start "moo-ing" or singing Old Mac Donald. A for Awesome!

Dreaming of: Doing AcroYoga classes at Urban Ashram in Ponsonby. AcroYoga combines yoga and acrobatics. You probably already do it at home if you balance your kiddies up in the air on your feet while they spread their arms and pretend to fly :) 

Inspiration: "There is no way to be a perfect mother but a million ways to be a good one"

Louie can roll

Louie rolled over today and to mine and his amazement I squealed and cried with delight. It came as a timely reminder of how blessed and lucky I am to have children. It reinforced the love and amazement I have for my offspring and there is no other feeling or love that can compare to how you feel about them. Louies simple developmental step of rolling from his back to his tummy injected excitement into me and has lifted me out of a bit of a hazy fog I have been living in.

As of late I have felt quite detached from myself, seriously exhausted and questioning a lot about my life. For those who don't know me I am still a baby myself at 24 years old. When I found out I was pregnant with my first I was a hot 21 year old with a cool job, all the freedom in the world, a gorgeous boyfriend (hes still gorgeous ;) ) and a ticket to India. I was going to live my dream of spending 3 months travelling through India and studying and practicing yoga at an ashram in Kerala. I was on my path of adventure and 'self discovery'. I feel so corny even writing that as being a mum has taught me more about myself than any travelling or adventure experience could ever do. I was in shock to see those two little pink lines take form in-front of me in that public toilet in Byron Bay. This wasn't a part of the plan! I was meant to go travelling, find myself, become awesome, get married, buy an amazing house by the sea, have an awesome job, get pregnant, read all the pregnancy books, have the all time hippy dippy natural birth, have an awesome baby, be an awesome mum, go travelling with my new little family and the rest of my awesome life would just continue from there. Well the universe had other plans. And thank god! Because I was nothing short of delusional about what life was all about and what being a mother entailed. We even thought we would take our baby travelling around the world with with us - ahhh blissful ignorance!

This is what happened instead: after the initial shock and anguish of losing out on my youth I fully embraced my pregnancy. I loved every moment of carrying my baby girl. I enjoyed watching my belly grow and feeling her move and kick inside of me. I had never felt more connected to anyone or anything in my life. I had an easy pregnancy apart from the morning sickness and could not wait for the birth experience of my daughter. Mila changed our lives forever when she came along and also changed all my perceptions of motherhood.

I never expected to feel that much love for my baby. It was completely overwhelming and I just couldn't get enough of her. I also never expected it to be so hard. The sleep deprivation, the toll on your body, the emotional rollercoaster of all the hormones, the colic, the engorged breasts and everything else that came with my new bundle. It tested my patience and my sanity. It shook up my relationship with my partner and even had me question many of friendships. Just when I thought I had my little one sussed she would tip our routine upside down with teething or some other milestone she was going through. I got through it like we all do, I survived. It wasn't long before my fertility bells started ringing and I was ready for another baby. This time I had a turbulent pregnancy despite my best efforts to practice yoga, rest and meditate. I now had a toddler to contend with which meant I hardly even got a second to embrace my new pregnancy. Energy was low, morale was low. Fortunately, I had a very empowering and quite amazing birth experience with my son followed by three blissful days of just me and him at the birthing centre. He was and still is the easiest and most content baby ever!

Raising two young ones has been very challenging and it hasn't helped that we have very little support. I got to the point about a month ago where I was bursting into tears a lot and feeling incredibly demotivated. If you think you don't have time for yourself with one wait until you have two! However, this has just been my experience and like I said it comes down to a lack of support. Feelings of yearning for my youth began to creep back in and I started to feel trapped in suburbia, in my house, in a constant cycle of no sleep, toddler tantrums, snotty noses, a lot of feeding and absolutely no time to just check in with myself. I felt claustrophobic within the walls of my own life.

Watching Louie do his little roll brought me back to my present moment. It showed me how full I can feel from the simplest of things. I cant capture my past or my age and I cant grasp for the future. All i have is right now, this breath, this moment with myself and with the people around me. I think of all the woman who would give their right arm to have children but for whatever reason can't... I am so blessed to have a body that conceives, carries and births well. Thank you body! I know that at this time of feeling that my identity is lost I must have a grateful heart and just do what the world requires of me right now - which is to be a mum. And I'm pretty good at that :)